****Humour in the workplace****

Doctors - and Sister

Head of Department ~ Leaps tall buildings in a single bound;
Is more powerful than a locomotive;
Is faster than a speeding bullet;
Walks on water;
Gives policy to God.

Consultant ~ Leaps short buildings in a single bound;
Is more powerful than a shunting engine;
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet;
Walks on salt water;
Talks with God.

Senior Registrar ~ Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable wind;
Is almost as powerful as a shunting engine;
Is faster than a speeding bee;
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool;
Talks with God if special requests are approved.

Registrar ~ Barely clears a Nissen hut;
Looses a tug of war with a locomotive;
Can fire a speeding bullet;
Swims well;
Is occasionally addressed by God.

Senior House Officer ~ Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap tall buildings;
Is run over by locomotives;
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury;
Treads water;
Talks to animals.

House Officer ~ Climbs walls continually;
Rides the rails;
Plays Russian roulette;
Walks on thin ice;
Plays a lot.

Clinical Student ~ Runs into buildings;
Recognizes locomotives two out of three times;
Is not issued ammunition;
Can stay afloat with a life jacket;
Talks to walls.

Pre-clinical Student ~ Falls over doorstep when trying to enter buildings;
Says 'Look at the choo-choo';
Wets himself with a water pistol;
Plays in mud puddles;
Mumbles to himself.

Sister ~ Lifts buildings and walks underneath them;
Kicks locomotives off the rails;
Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them;
Freezes water with a single glance;
She IS God.

TOP

Ten commandments for reducing Stress

Thou shalt not be perfect, nor even try.

Thou shalt not try to be all things to all people.

Thou shalt leave things undone that ought to be done.

Thou shalt not spread thyself too thin.

Thou shalt learn to say no.

Thou shalt schedule time for thy self and thy supportive network.

Thou shalt switch off and do nothing regularly.

Thou shalt be boring, inelegant, untidy and unattractive at times.

Thou shalt not even feel guilty.

ESPECIALLY THY SHALT NOT BE THINE OWN WORST ENEMY, BUT BE THY BEST FRIEND.

TOP

The Rules of the Female